The Queen of Caveats

If you’re like me, once you became a parent you became a lot more talkative. Some of your extra talking is to help your child develop their speech and language skills. But some of it is based on your knowledge that no matter what you tell your child, there will always be questions and misunderstandings about what you’re saying versus what they want to hear. So you learn to add in precautions, known as caveats.

You can have a play date after school. Unless you get sick. Or your friend gets sick. Or it’s cancelled for some reason.

Yes, we can get an ice cream cone. But only one scoop. Kid-sized. And don’t ask for more ice cream or toppings. And don’t tell your brother when we get home that you got ice cream.

We’ll sign you up for piano lessons, but you have to practice. Everyday. Without whining. Before bedtime. Without whining. Seriously, you have to practice without whining.

We’re going to the playground. You have to go to the bathroom before we leave. And don’t play in the sandbox when we get there. And don’t touch any food or trash on the ground. And when I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go. And remember to have fun.

Sure, you can help me bake cookies. Wash your hands first. With soap. Don’t touch the oven. Or get near the oven. Here, stand far away from the oven. What do you mean you aren’t helping bake the cookies if you’re in the living room?
Often times these caveats fall on willfully distracted ears. But saying them at least gives me the sense that I am going to control the upcoming situation. Which rarely happens. But it could. One day. Or maybe not.

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6 thoughts on “The Queen of Caveats

  1. Ariel: My family used to have a royal nickname for me, too. They used to call me the Queen of Anxiety and Controller of All Circumstances. I think that was a tad unfair. I mean, “Please don’t untie my wraparound skirt in the grocery store parking lot” seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me…

  2. Haha! Yes!! Okay this might sound t.m.i. but I have to tell my one of my sons when he goes to the bathroom for a number 2, I have to tell him to wipe his butt, in the crack, and wash his hands…with soap lol. Great post!!

  3. My daughters are now 18 & 15 and we still need to use caveats – in fact they are even more important because they will be looking for any loophole they can use to get around ‘the law’!

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